It's kind of a funny story when I think about it. My first experience with bikers in tights was impressed upon me by Kim. In our early 20's he would roll up on a road cyclist in his shit box of a vehicle and holler, "Gear Queer!" Yeah, you heard me. I didn't pretty it up. He'd shake his fist and beat his chest. He was a BMXer through and through...argh! I watched several transactions take place before asking, "What difference does it make if someone rides a BMX bike; mountain bike or road bike?" "At least they're riding." I said.
I'll never forget his reaction: the way his head snapped around to look at me, or, the expression on his face. The one that say's, "You are kidding me." Not, "Are you kidding me?" There is a whole world of difference between the two. As if speaking to a child, he explains, "They wear tights." Duh! Since we both have short attention spans we quickly wandered off subject. But, I never forgot that exchange.
You will never be able to imagine my satisfaction so many years later when he started getting into cross country mountain biking and road cycling. In the over all scheme of things, it's a pretty natural progression. Only so many people can ride BMX forever. That's when you decide you love "riding," period. You adjust but you don't quit. I couldn't resist, therefor, to remind him of his past transgressions and ask him, "How do you like it?" I really did enjoy rubbing his face in it.
Once he got into road cycling, it was over. Spandex was no joke. Right, wrong or indifferent, joking around about your tights was not funny. And, Kim calmly explained to me, they are a necessary evil. So, being the sensitive soul that I am, I busted his ass every chance I got. When Kim and Mully would go out for a century I would call them ladies or homo's. Sometimes, I would refer to them as girls. Kim started to get pissed but what could he really say? It's not cool now because it's me? Kim is a lot of things but he's not a hypocrite. He sucked it up and I laughed myself silly!
What I didn't realize was Kim's brilliant plan for revenge. He bought me a cheap road bike and gave me a shitty whooped ass pair of spandex. I was not stoked on this but I was curious to ride the bike. So, I decided I didn't need the shorts in order to ride the bike. I'd rather go without than look gay. When I insisted on standing by my decision he just shook his head and said, "You'll see."
Six miles was my total that first day. My bike was as heavy as a tank. I wrecked at the first red light I came to because I couldn't unclip and I had a serious case of monkey butt. Needless to say, I now wear spandex religiously. I hate them. I can't live without them. All I can say is that is seems to be a common dilemma. In the end, you discover that your pride can take the blow. You suck it up. Then the day comes when you are talking to a new rider and they tell you, "I'm not wearing the tights." And you shake your head and say, "You'll see."
